HOPES AND DREAMS FOR 2005

I wrote this on December 29, 2004. It’s good to have it around…keeps me focused!
What comes to mind first is the hope of simplifying my life. I want to continue to make room for more people. Recently, a friend of Jason’s asked me what my hobbies were. I just sat there pondering for several minutes. The answer I came up with was, “people are my hobby.” It was intriguing to me to actually put that thought into words. But, it’s true. Shortly after that, I actually sat down and examined my Day Planner and sure enough almost every day is full of time spent with others. That’s not to say we don’t have many past-time interests.We are very eclectic. Everything from running and scuba diving to a literary book club I recently started. But, people are what come to my mind and seem to be the priority. Right now we have an 18 year old girl, Lindsay, living with us. She’s proud to share with anyone who will listen that she is a lesbian and an agnostic. What a fire and a spirit she has. And, at 18, she chooses to work with disabled children. She is a gem!  On Christmas Eve, as we worked outside, we met a women and her handicapped daughter who were about to be homeless. She was trying to get to her boyfriend so they could spend Christmas together. We gave her a ride. I felt prompted to give her a specific amount of money, too, but I dismissed the thought. Then, Dean took me aside and asked me how much money I had in my wallet. I said, “a lot, why?” He said, “I think we should give her money.” I had that number in my mind already and so I asked him how much he thought we should give. He said the exact amount. How cool is that!!! So, we slipped her the money too. She just weeped and said she was so embarrassed. But, my immediate response was, “Don’t be embarrassed. We are all in this world together and we need to carry each other.” She called me the day after Christmas and asked if we had a place for her to stay. For now, she, her boyfriend, and their daughter are temporarily living in the motor-home. And how perfect that Lindsay works with special needs kids. Lindsay has already given Elaine (the mom) a ton of numbers where she can seek more assistance with her daughter. Lindsay kept saying it was so rewarding to be able to help like that. Nice how things piece together.

So this brings me to my next hope and dream. I want to learn to love people more. I mean really love. I want to spend more time staring into the eyes of strangers and finding the value and uniqueness of each person. The experience I had with Elaine and her daughter … I want more of that. I know it isn’t hard to find people who are in need. I just have to slow down and open my eyes. AND most importantly, I have to fight the urge to listen to all the excuses that flood my mind as to why I would rather divert my eyes or ignore someone than actually get into the messiness of their lives. It’s a risk. It’s uncomfortable and yet it is the most rewarding purposeful experience I have ever felt. So, I want to thrive in that tension and allow love to win.

This brings me to something I want to start up in 2005. The poor and marginalized have become very important to me. Did you know that over 500 people are houseless in the Conejo Valley. And that number is only based on those who actually sought shelter on the given survey night. 65% are long time county residents. Over 52% are women and children.  32% are working individuals. And of the 500+ people surveyed only 8 wished to remain houseless. Not the statistics I expected or assumed. A few churches in the area have volunteered to open their doors one night a week to house people but that is only during the winter months. Most people end up finding shelter in bushes, under bridges, or in cars. There is no official shelter for houseless people. My big hope and dream is to raise enough awareness to this very real problem so we can raise enough money to have a shelter built in the Conejo Valley. I will have to fight bureaucracy because the city doesn’t want a permanent shelter here.The challenge excites me! I fight to win! This year, my good friend/running partner and I are going to design a race and all the money collected for registration will go towards a building. I assume this is just the first of many fund-raising ideas. We are calling the race Run for Cover. We have started an organization called Embrace which is umbrellaed under the Spring as a non-profit. My friend’s husband owns a bike shop and has a ton of connections with the park rangers for Wildwood and Sycamore Canyon. We will definitely get permission to map out a trail for the race. Her husband can get sponsors through his bike shop to provide gels and sports drinks. The Spring will provide the water/volunteers to man water points throughout the race. We have a ton of connections with Starbucks and Jamba Juice so we’re hoping they will set up booths and give out drinks for the runners after the race. We are pretty excited about it.

Apart from that, I have been collecting blankets to provide to the various shelters. I have also started what I am calling Laundry Love. We have a big Sparkets bottle sitting in the Cafe on Sunday nights. We ask people to toss in their spare change. As we collect enough money, we’ll head to the local shelters, gather up dirty clothes, and wash them at the laundromat. That way when people leave the shelter the next morning they will do so with clean clothes.

As for family, we are a great team. We all have very special and unique gifts that fit us together like a puzzle. We have similar passions for life and we flow together very naturally. We’ve all been enjoying the extra time spent with Aaron and in 2005 hope to nurture even stronger bonds. Aaron also talked with us about helping with STAGGER. So, with all that support he should do very well if this company is what he ultimately chooses to pursue.

Dean and I gel together so well and 2005 marks 9 years of marriage for us. Can you believe it? In some ways it feels as if we have been married forever and in some ways as if we are newlyweds. Life with him is as natural as breathing in and breathing out. I know from the many others around us that we are an exception (and as sad as that is) I am so thankful for our relationship. Often when we talk, we complete each others sentences. So, I told him this morning that “he completes me” (it’s a quote from the movie Jerry Maguire).

We have discussed adding to our family. I am not sure if that means birthing children or adopting. That may not be something that happens in 2005 but the talks have begun!

Traveling is nice. We are going to Alaska in January. We like to travel to unwind but other times we travel to assist others. I am usually such a structured and schedule dependent person but when we travel I am so laid back and “go with the flow”. We usually have no agenda. (for anyone who gets it… my “P” comes out.) We just move where life takes us. I like that. Dean has been to Russia and all over the US. Abroad, I have been to Ireland 3 times, England, Austria, France (ah, yes, Paris is beautiful), and the Czech Republic (where some of my ancestors are from). I have also been to Hawaii and Mexico. And, as a family, we have visited many US States and traveled to Mexico. We love New York and hope to return in 2005. At the end of 2005 and into 2006 we will all be hitting landmark dates. Dean will turn 40, Aaron 20, Jason 18 and graduating, Johnny 30, and me 33 (like 3’s … that’s my excuse) So, as a family we hope to celebrate birthdays, Christmas, and graduation with a trip to Hawaii to scuba dive. I would love to show the guys Europe. We may chose to go that way if Aaron doesn’t get scuba certified in time. My passport needs to be renewed. Italy is one place I would love to experience … but I’ll go just about anywhere in Europe. Our good friends are moving to Amsterdam this summer so I know it wont be long before we are making our way there too.

As for big, long-term retirement accounts and investments … we have none. We hope to eventually have some savings put aside for the ailments that old age inevitably will bring but as for retirement, no thank you! I know many would find us crazy… but that’s ok. We hope to never retire. I don’t want to stop until I fall over dead. There is just so much to do and a life-time isn’t long enough to accomplish it all.

So let’s ring in 2005!

Cheers,
Tina