CRASH

So I saw the movie Crash last night.

I woke suddenly this morning and as I lay there staring at the ceiling my thoughts began to wander back over last night and the movie. I felt compelled to get up and journal all that was welling up inside of me.

OK so one thing that hit me is how we look at people so one-dimensionally. One character in the film is a cop. We are first introduced to him as he decides to pull over a couple driving an SUV that could possibly be stolen. His partner doesn’t want to stop them because he knows this isn’t the right SUV. So, we are given a hint that as a police officer he doesn’t always make the wisest choices. Then, as the scene progresses we get to see him display this really ugly side of himself. We see a racist and pervert all in one moment. I felt anger boiling up in me. Anger that people were being devalued and anger at people who hurt others. I was crying out for justice. But, what troubles me about myself is that I wasn’t carried beyond those thoughts. Let me explain … so, the next time this character is on screen we see this gentle and nurturing side of him as he cares for his sick father. He hurts for his dad and the entire interaction is one of compassion. He comforts his father with human touch. The touch is right and good unlike the wrong touch he displayed with the woman. I looked at Dean and said, “wow, everyone has a story, huh?” I felt shamed as I realized that I was no different than this character being portrayed. I judged him instantly. Forgetting that we all have a story. We all have brokenness that causes us to make the wrong choices. (Of course this isn’t to say that he is a victim who is not responsible for his actions. I guess for me it’s about recognizing that we all hurt and need things from each other that we don’t often get. This leads us into so much pain and in turn we make bad or even downright evil choices). So, I forgot that he was a person, just like me, full of thoughts and feelings and wounds and kindness and heartaches and love. I wonder how often strangers see me being less than perfect and think of me one-dimensionally. I didn’t look past his actions to acknowledge a human being. That saddened me. How much would our world be changed if we really loved … loved in Truth. Loved in patience and compassion. Loved in valuing every human being. Do I sound naive? Maybe. But is it really possible to love people away from their darker sides?

Next, we see his partner in his bosses office demanding a transfer as he can’t stand the things this man does. But, the rightness he is standing up for gets clouded. Truth takes a back seat to self preservation. Everyone has a story and everyone makes choices. Other actions in the movie lead me to think…at what point do each of us come to the end of ourselves? In one moment we find ourselves standing on the brink of facing the consequences of our choices and in the next moment we are choosing to lie or cover up or lash out at others to divert the attention off of ourselves. How far are we willing to go to preserve ourselves? What about Truth? In day-to-day life we cry out for it. We say we stand by it. We are dogmatic at times. But, what about the moments when we find ourselves facing Truth head one and now realize that the very truth we say we want could burn us if we cry out for it. Will we still stand up for what’s right or now does rightness somehow take a back seat? How quickly do we let go of people and relationships and Truth and justice to self preserve? I think of Jesus’ friends on the night he was arrested. In that moment the one’s who were his closest friends bailed on him. Too risky. They could get hurt or killed by associating with him. Would I have abandoned him too? Probably. And this thought scares me. I know I have a lot of yuk inside. I want to think I would be willing to stand up for Truth at any cost. I want to. But, will I.

Then, I think about racism … in the film we see this subject laced into almost every scene. What becomes so clear is that everyone is a racist. Am I a racist? I don’t consider myself to be one. And what about stereotypes? In the film stereotyping sort of parallels racism…One woman in the film stereotypes two guys. But, she ends up being right about them. So, in some small way her mind tells her…see, I’m right all _________ are this way. (you fill in the blank … whether it be men or women or races of people.) We all do this. Comedians make their living by analyzing people, stereotyping and making fun of them. But, we laugh because in some small way we know that they are right. So, is it wrong to stereotype? Is that a form of racism? Or do we just long to understand people and we catagorize them when we feel we have identified something common … hmmm … many thoughts.

So, I welcome others thoughts and comments … these things are worthy of dialog. And hopefully dialog that leads to change and growth …